image- daily express
Punishment for children has always been a hot topic. Wether parents should be aloud to smack there child or spank depending where you are from. In the uk it is illegal for a parent or care giver to smack a child, expect where “reasonable punishment” is concerned. Smacking by a teacher which was once allowed is completely against the law including care workers, babysitters or nannies.
Scotland will soon become the first UK nation to ban ALL physical punishment to any child. Meaning there is no judstication for the smack.
A lot of people don’t even understand what “reasonable punishment” means but I take this as neglect ,wounding or cruelty is illegal where as a light tap to the hand to prevent a child from sticking there hand in a plug socket is ok? Leaving a mark is a big no for me even the slightest of red patch. I think if you full on “spank” your child its hitting, you are literally hitting a child in anger knowing they cant fight back.
The children act 2004 states that the ” Reasonable force” is defined by the age of the child and the nature of smack.
I was smacked as a child by my father mostly, I have remember of this and it wasn’t just a tap it was a smack to the side of the head. I remember it very clear. Before I had children I knew I wouldn’t smack them for this reason. I will admit I have tap there hand a few times. I no exactly the reason for it they both Corey and Derry at different points bit someone else latching on to there skin leaving teeth marks. They never bit again and I remember another time with corey he wasn’t supposed to touch the tv wire he stood slowly reaching his hand to the it whilst staring me dead in the face while I told him to stop, he was put in time out, he was moved away, I tried distracting him. But each time he came straight back to it and stared at me whilst moving his hand to touch it and try knock it off. And so I tapped his hand lightly and he instantly stopped he didn’t cry he just looked at me in disbelief. It was the same with the biting they did once and never have again. Of course I felt guilty but I knew what they were doing was dangerous and they needed a shock. I would never smack them in a harmful way or enough to cause them to cry in pain. Some people may think even a light tap is to much. Others will smack often. The older generation believe none smacking is the cause to all youth related problems.
In our house hold “time out” has always worked for us. They are warned once to stop an action with a please, if they carry it on they are taken to our time out spot. Which is in the hallway at the front door (inside obviously I don’t stick them out in the street 😉 ). They then sit there for 2 minutes for Derry and 4 for Corey a minute for there age. At the start when we introduced time out with Corey he would push and he would try walk off the spot or run. Every time he did he was taken back and his time restarted. He would then stand instead of sit like he thought he was getting the upper hand on me by standing. I was going to enforce sitting but I thought this was pointless and a battle I didn’t pick. As long as hes where I put him he can sit stand or lie for all I care. The same with derry. They can cry scream shout all they like and I wont respond at all and until they are quiet the time out timer doesn’t start. They both will go straight to time out now and sit quietly.
After there time is up I go to them and ask them to stand up and tell me why they are in time out. For derry this is obviously different as shes younger but she will immediately say sorry and ask for a hug. Corey will say sorry we talk about whats the right way to behave and then its forgotten.
I don’t care where we are if they are miss behaving I will sit them down on a shop floor, the park anywhere. I remember a time before having Derry that Corey started screaming in Matalan and I calmly took him out the queue and did time out. He instantly stopped and as I got to the checkout a manager said ” that was some top parent there”.
Using this technique just defuses any situation it give the child time to calm down get there feelings out and the parent time also. No one is ask a million times to stop something, and no is screaming or tempers being built up. Its completely forgot about and moved on from with zero parent guilt!
Id love to hear how you teach boundaries in your house hold? Was you smacked as a child.
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Disclaimer – My babies are my life and are very well looked after x