Life as i have experienced

I AM NATALIE AND I HAVE MENTAL HEALTH!

Mental health. A subject people are afraid to talk about. I myself am nervous even writing this post, why?… Why are we so scared to let others know we have Mental health issues ,problems ,illnesses.. For me the word “mental” doesn’t help. Mental for me as a single word represents crazy, wild, weird or not “normal”. Obviously it means mental as inside the mind, but just that word just feels embarrassing or cringey to say aloud . If you have a cold or a cough you say it aloud no problems you even tell strangers ” sorry i have a cold” etc but no one ever says ” hi im Natalie i have mental health problems” …

HI IM NATALIE I HAVE MENTAL HEALTH!!! No i am not clinically insane although my children often make me feel it some days when they are arguing over pointless objects like a spoon ha ha . No im not “crazy” or “weird”. I have depression, some days i feel so incredibly sad or alone for no apparent reason. I have Anxiety, some days i feel a constant knot in my tummy like something bad is about to happen when im perfectly safe and have no reason to feel that way. Some times i don’t leave the house for weeks at a time. I know in my sane mind this is ridiculous i know i should just go out side walk to the shop but i just cant bring myself to do it! Like there is a war zone outside and im in hiding when im safe and im living a safe life. Its like my bodies gut instinct feels an unknown danger and i havnt caught up with it.

Some days i wake up extremely happy full of life and feel myself. Myself as in the old person the person i remember was. A happy person and depression hadn’t arrived. Ill feel like going on an adventure outside in the world and be excited by life for no reason other than im living. Then there are days when i wake up in a haze so down i cant even be bothered to speak. Yesterday was that day, it comes around more often than before. Before years ago when i felt “normal”.

Yesterday i woke feeling like the world was crashing down around me like my world was falling apart when it wasn’t. I have a great life 2 beautiful happy children, a nice home and a supportive partner and family.   But my mind feels different at times. Its like im renting out half my brain and the tenant next door is crying , screaming & shouting while im in the next room trying to ignore it and smile?  Its like im standing in a crowd all screaming and I’m trying to shout over the thousands to be heard.   I try bring myself out of it i play with the kids i act silly but in the moment the sadness is still pushing back fighting to regain its power over me. I cant help it? My mind has a illness the same as my lungs would have a cough…

All over the media and news we see stories of people committing suicide actually KILLING themselves over the illness hidden in their minds. Wow that sentence is actually shocking. Would you have suicidal thoughts over the flu? No i highly doubt that.

Mental health is like cancer it kills the same it infects the same. It starts as a small tumour a small thought that grows and spreads. Mental health builds up over years you don’t see it you might not necessarily feel it, it creeps in bit by bit until you realise you havnt laughed, smiled or spoke in a week! You wouldn’t leave a tumour to grow why are you letting it spread in your mind?

Depression isn’t just feeling upset or sad. Its a deep sadness that cant be shaken off, a bad thought that doesn’t go away, its a feeling of stress that cant be calmed. I have suffered with mental health for probably 6 years or more. I didn’t realise at first, i didn’t see it coming. But now i am ready to start recovering. Im reaching out for the help i should have given my mind years ago. You should do that same. I have had enough of Mental health ruling my life.

I don’t walk around crying everyday, i don’t lie in bed everyday (although i do feel like it sometimes), i smile on the outside sometimes but inside im knotted up, its not visible like a rash but it is there. Some people may think i have a perfect life seeing through a window like social media. But i don’t post daily how inside im fighting mentally,  i post the happy days the days i want to share. In reality i literally have nothing to be depressed about. I really do have a good content life, but its not my life that is saddening its thoughts that lurk in my mind. I don’t want to be like this im evicting the tenant from inside my brain!

Mental health isn’t just depression or anxiety. Follow the link to the Charity mind for a breakdown of Types of mental health problems – https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/

There is so much help out there but sometimes people don’t know how or where to turn. If your feeling any of these symptoms or issues. Talk to your GP that is a massive big step. The answer isn’t just throwing medication at you they can guide you to the right places and to the help your mind needs. Just talk tell someone a friend a family member. And if you are that friend that is turned to or someone in your family has spoken up to you. Be that support to help them seek the treatment and help their mind needs.

THERE IS NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED ABOUT!! YOUR MIND NEEDS CARE!

DONT HIDE AWAY, SPEAK UP, SHOUT UP, DONT BE ASHAMED.

Mind is an absolutely amazing charity who wont stop until everyone experiencing mental health gets the help they need. Check out there website its jam packed full of advice and help!! You are a click away from helping yourself and recovering. They have a button that you can get instant help! Even if you just want to talk by text message.

https://www.mind.org.uk/about-us/

If your reading this and you feel like this is you, speak up. Even if you hit my contact me section im open to talk whenever!!

I AM NATALIE, I SUFFER WITH MENTAL HEALTH AND IM NOT ASHAMED.

X

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “I AM NATALIE AND I HAVE MENTAL HEALTH!”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.