Knowing what to do as a parent can be so difficult at times well alot of the time we as parents second guess ourselves. Through in a special need and knowing your making good decisions for your Childs present and future can be a nightmare.
Since starting into year 1 Corey has had a massive shift and attitude to school, which was expected. He would come home last year filled with happiness and excitement and we had anticipated a drop in mood and I had thought for the first few weeks we would have alot of tears. Nothing to do with his experience but more so the change. The change in teacher, room, friends and routine as a child on the spectrum this can play havoc with their behaviour and mood. I thought when the excitement wears off we will hit that wall.
He did struggling aswell once home his emotional that had built up through the day would flood out. Ive spoke many times about Corey and being on an autism journey but my latest post here talks about the first few weeks so I won’t repeat myself just head there if youd like a read.
What I hadn’t expected was his struggle academically, well I had in a way because on his last school report at the end of the year it had stated he was behind but what I hadn’t expected was him to notice he was behind his peers. Corey is only 5 so im not expecting the world from him and I know he’s very clever however he does struggle to concentrate and I had prepared for a tough few years in education but I hadn’t expected it so early. His school are brilliant and are trying to find his strengths to help him.
However one day he came in and said ” I hate school” I was so taken aback because he had always loved it. I asked him why and we spoke for a good 40 minutes. He felt he wasn’t clever, that his friends were understanding things and he wasn’t, he found the work to hard and he was sad they weren’t playing anymore and doing more work. Something that he had been saying for a couple days was that his teacher wouldn’t allow him to keep getting drinks and that his body was wet… after a few days of us talking he admitted he was asking for drinks to try get out of doing the work because he couldnt do it and the wet body was him sweating from the worry. Which broke my heart.
I myself have tried many times to sit and work with him but I myself get frustrated with how poor his concentration is. He will read one phonic one single letter then his mind drifts so to get him to even read one 5 word sentence takes 15- 20 mins which can tests the patience of a saint. So we decided a tutor was the way to go, and so my search online began.
There are hundreds of website filled with tutors for all subjects online and so I began searching. I spent a week all day everyday messaging and talking with tutors. I would think we’d found a great one but the moment I mentioned the spectrum or autism conversation was over. I decided to change tactics and not mention it until we were talking meeting dates and then again conversation over , they would say they had no experience with it or no availability. I can totally understand it may sound off putting but for a parent its a hard pill to swallow. Why aren’t all teachers with in there training taught how to teach special needs children aswell as the average child. I had one “gentleman” say maybe he would ‘fit in’ better in a special needs school. Now there is nothing wrong with special education schools far from it but I would say on a scale of spectrum which of course isn’t a basic straight line but if I had to put a number I would say 0-10, 10 being non verbal very autistic I would say Corey is 2-3 and for him I just don’t think he would cope or adapt to that environment and for him to suggest he needed to ‘fit it’ made my blood boil.
I eventually resorted to facebook and I basically put an AD on fully disclosing his autism etc and the reaction to it was amazing. I had explained we were getting no where with online searching and how he was being dismissed for being autistic . I had over 20 messages within minutes. Teachers whom weren’t offering tutor sessions messaged to say they wanted to help or they knew someone whom could. We eventually found a lovely lady that sounds fab and we are meeting at our home. It really restored my faith in humans!! Corey is very excited to meet her and totally understands why shes coming and he’s excited to get some extra help so he doesn’t ever have to feel behind.
We got you kidda even if schooling doesn’t bring out your thing, your talent, your special thing will won’t stop till we find it. Not every child finds a strength in the education system and we will find yours Corey and until then we will do everything in our power to find it.
The only thing im worried about it overloading him, he’s only 5. I question myself of is this to much for a 5 year old, should his weekend involved more work, more of the things he’s struggling with, the pressure of education brought into his safe space. Its so hard to know what is right or wrong. I think the best we can do it try. The sessions will be for an hour every Saturday maybe an hour will be to long for him or maybe he will completely hate it and if so I won’t be forcing it. BUT he might thrive he might enjoy it and he might really benefit from it in school.
I will forever be in your corner kidda and I forever try make the right decisions for you.
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